Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Sell It On eBay! Airline Fee Satire

Time For Some Guru Satire

First, I take my blog very seriously as I try to educate my audience, share some opinions, and give advice, but we have to have some fun every now and then, so here we go:

Below are a couple links about all the new airline fees that are popping up and causing chaos, if you have not heard about them, you are living under a rock.

You're Charging Me for What?!

Funny Comic

Packing Light Pays

So, obviously, we have the baggage fees and now some are possibly speculating about the weight of you and your bags being charged as well. Quite simply, airlines need to become more versatile and diversify their portfolios..... my solution; their own eBay Auction sites.

Picture it now, you just enjoyed your flight. You paid $15 for your checked bag, your pants still don't fit quite right after they made you take them off for "security purposes". You had a baby two rows up screaming the entire time, your lap top battery died half-way through the flight, you were frozen the entire flight because you dared not wrap yourself in the disease infested blankets, the stewardess gave you only 1/4 can of Ginger Ale and no pretzels, and if you're really really really lucky, the flight allowed cell phones... Could this trip be any worse?

Yes it could. It turns out after you filed slowly out of the plane (which they shut the air off as you awaited the gate to be opened to save on electricity), you left behind your suit jacket which housed your fountain pen, wallet, sunglasses, but you did not realize this until you passed the security check point.

Now, we would expect the airlines to notify you once they searched the jacket and found your I.D., but not anymore ladies and gentlemen, I introduce the Airlines eBay Store!!

Airlines have a cash cow in their grasps. Tons of people leave belongings behind, so instead of returning them, put them up for auction!

I can see it now, your suit jacket, pen, wallet, and sunglasses all end up on the Auction site, along with the thousands of other items left behind on planes.
If you really think about it, airlines could become a electronics/small articles
of clothing store
To top things off, you can use your Frequent Flyer Miles on the auctions too! Talk about an added bonus for flying with your carrier of choice.

This could help alleviate all the gas issues and drive the airlines into an entirely new industry.

So, the next time you forget a personal belonging, do not even attempt to contact the airline carrier, save yourself the trouble and go to eBay and buy your stuff back...

The be-all will be when on your next flight the gentleman to your right happens to have a pen that looks identical to your "lost" pen and those sunglasses have the same scratch on the frame as yours did......

Oh, what the future could hold.

~the GURU

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