Sell It On eBay! Airline Fee Satire

Time For Some Guru Satire

First, I take my blog very seriously as I try to educate my audience, share some opinions, and give advice, but we have to have some fun every now and then, so here we go:

Below are a couple links about all the new airline fees that are popping up and causing chaos, if you have not heard about them, you are living under a rock.

You're Charging Me for What?!

Funny Comic

Packing Light Pays

So, obviously, we have the baggage fees and now some are possibly speculating about the weight of you and your bags being charged as well. Quite simply, airlines need to become more versatile and diversify their portfolios..... my solution; their own eBay Auction sites.

Picture it now, you just enjoyed your flight. You paid $15 for your checked bag, your pants still don't fit quite right after they made you take them off for "security purposes". You had a baby two rows up screaming the entire time, your lap top battery died half-way through the flight, you were frozen the entire flight because you dared not wrap yourself in the disease infested blankets, the stewardess gave you only 1/4 can of Ginger Ale and no pretzels, and if you're really really really lucky, the flight allowed cell phones... Could this trip be any worse?

Yes it could. It turns out after you filed slowly out of the plane (which they shut the air off as you awaited the gate to be opened to save on electricity), you left behind your suit jacket which housed your fountain pen, wallet, sunglasses, but you did not realize this until you passed the security check point.

Now, we would expect the airlines to notify you once they searched the jacket and found your I.D., but not anymore ladies and gentlemen, I introduce the Airlines eBay Store!!



Airlines have a cash cow in their grasps. Tons of people leave belongings behind, so instead of returning them, put them up for auction!

I can see it now, your suit jacket, pen, wallet, and sunglasses all end up on the Auction site, along with the thousands of other items left behind on planes.

If you really think about it, airlines could become a electronics/small articles
of clothing store

To top things off, you can use your Frequent Flyer Miles on the auctions too! Talk about an added bonus for flying with your carrier of choice.


This could help alleviate all the gas issues and drive the airlines into an entirely new industry.

So, the next time you forget a personal belonging, do not even attempt to contact the airline carrier, save yourself the trouble and go to eBay and buy your stuff back...

The be-all will be when on your next flight the gentleman to your right happens to have a pen that looks identical to your "lost" pen and those sunglasses have the same scratch on the frame as yours did......

Oh, what the future could hold.

~the GURU

Be Prepared for Murder in the Skies

You have got to be kidding me!

My eyes glaze over as I read this article and yearn to smack the jubilant gentleman in the photo. Airlines are one of our last cell-phone-free safe havens and the evil forces have begun to penetrate our holy space.

Of course, we all want to be 24/7 connected to everyone, but there comes a time when is becomes ridiculous. Think about it, it is already chaotic enough to have the crying baby two rows up, behind you you have the kid kicking your seat, and directly to your right the gentleman leaning into your personal space, now slap into the equation a person with a cell phone?! Houston, we have a serious problem.

Let us indulge in the pros of this first:

1) For the business travelers, they will be able to continue to be tied into their jobs. If there is a sudden change in proposals, quotes, news, they will not have a 2-5 hour empty window, so, ideally, productivity is increased.

2) I'm sure cell phone companies will find some way to make even more money off this, I'm not sure how yet (other than usage), but they will.

3).... Um, I do not think there is any, even #2 is a stretch. Please let me know if there are any others?

Let us eyeball the negatives:

1) As we become more and more connected, there has been talks of the law of diminishing returns. We are quickly approaching, if not all ready, the point where we are so connected we are not as efficient as we once were. With all the distractions that bombard us through the work-day, we lose track of what we're trying to do. For example, if you're on the flight and working on a proposal or even sleeping and your phone rings, who knows how long the conversation could go for and afterwards you will probably be side-tracked.

2) It is already bad enough when babies are crying, your neighbor to your left is drooling on you, and now, your neighbor on the right is going to be talking to who-knows-who about who-knows-what. Let's be honest, some of the topics people discuss in public now is stuff I do not want to hear about. What if your neighbor is a loud talker? Eek!

3) You may get assaulted. No more needs to be said.

Overall, on the business side of things, there are some potential benefits. Who knows what kind of events could transpire within those couple hours in the air cut off from the office. Having access to a phone could have huge perks, but when we begin to approach the line of overall respect for everyone and keeping a peace of mind, we have issues. Always being connected is not always a good thing, especially when it is not businessmen next to you, but the 16 year-old girl with boy problems...

~The GURU

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/7308041.stm